It’s the EMPTY
The more Facebook posts and books I read and the more conversations I have, the clearer it is to me that the biggest fear moms face as the kids move out is the “empty” part of the empty nest.
It’s as if when your kids move out the world stops spinning you feel as if you have been punched in the gut and can’t take another breath.
It paralyzes moms as if they are experiencing a death. And I guess is it is like a death. It’s the death of an era of raising kids. It’s the end of a two-decade lifestyle routine. And heck yeah, it was fun and scary and sad and hard and filled with so much love it made your heart burst OR break at times. So, I get it. BUT with every end, there is a beginning. With every beginning, there is an opportunity. The rough part about being an almost or full-on empty nester is to figure out how to get your world spinning again… how to FILL the “empty.”
Start Again?
Where do you start? Geez! Is’nt that the million dollar question. How does one wrestle with the changing role of being forced to end a full-time mother gig gracefully? Your days were filled with so much responsibility and activity. You had a carpool, meals, homework to supervise, football games, soccer games, dance recitals, robotics competitions, music lessons, etc… not to mention all your volunteering responsibilities for the school and the kid’s clubs and teams, the day was FULL from sun up to sun down. It’s now EMPTY.
There’s nothing left but you and your cup of coffee that’s gone cold. Right??!! NO! Gurl! There’s a whole world out there waiting for you.
Will I Ever Be Ready?
Yes, and when you are ready, there’s so much to do, see, feel, taste, smell that it will blow your mind. All the experiences you had raising your kids have taken you on a journey that developed you to be open to explore the world. Remember that? Remember all those field trips and vacations you just HAD to take the kids on so they could explore and learn about their world? It’s your turn to take YOURSELF on a few field trips. Whatever sets your hair on fire is the direction to start your new journey. Ok, are you feeling excited or are you freaking out at the thought of this?
Excited About Creating A New Life?
If you are excited this is your opportunity to … GO FOR IT! If you are holding your breath just thinking about it, you’re not ready. And you know what, that’s perfectly natural since being a mom is really important to you it’s understandable that you don’t want to do something that may look like you are a bad mom. Breath. Think about it, what does a good mom or bad mom do when the kids are out of the home?
The first step of figuring out this empty nest thing is getting your mind and heart in sync about it.
That’s why I said, “when you are ready.” Give yourself some time to work through the rollercoaster of feelings you are feeling. It’s not easy to let go of a person you would give your life for.
That’s why it’s the first step, to gather your feelings and thoughts about this season of motherhood. It’s not something we get to choose. And it kind’a feels like a dirty trick because if you do a good job as a mom, your kids grow up and move on. The fact that they go on be contributing adults in society is only mildly comforting. It’s the day to day routine that’s changing and turning your life upside down. I get that.
So, take some time to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your roller coaster feelings of fear, sadness, joy, excitement and even dread. Yes, go ahead cry and mourn the end of your baby’s childhood. Only then can you begin to FILL UP the EMPTY you are feeling about your future.
Want to talk it out, get on a free discovery call with me, https://HeyMissEllie.as.me/. I have all kinds of tools I can offer you to get you on the path of creating this new life filled with feelings of FULFILLMENT and joy. It’s so possible but it’s up to you to decide if you want to discover a new direction.
Do it, girl! Get your HAPPY ON!